This month’s insecurity: Am I annoying???

I probably am. Ugh, yes, I am definitely annoying.

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So I’ve been thinking lately about all the people in my life who’ve gotten to know me, and then bailed out. All the failed or faded friendships. All the internet “blocks” and de-friendings. I know I should not dwell on that, I should instead focus on those wonderful, patient, and kind souls who actually like me and have stuck around, but I can’t help it!

I obsess over what I did to make them dislike me so, what wrong things I said. Was it one thing? Or just my personality in general? I wish I knew, so I could improve myself, or even just apologize. Maybe their reasons are dumb, and I won’t feel so bad! I don’t know.

If I AM annoying, how could I tell? Is there like a maximum number of enemies you can have and still be a decent person? How many de-friendings is normal?

It does have a negative impact on my writing, because I start to wonder if my poor social skills are translating into my character’s interactions. Are my characters just as dorky as I am? Is my dialogue obnoxious?

I’d love to hear if anyone else worries about this stuff. Also if anyone has tips or advice about limiting this particular kind of social anxiety. Comment below! (You might have to click the blog title to open this post again & comment)

6 thoughts on “This month’s insecurity: Am I annoying???

  1. You are not annoying or a bad person. No one likes everyone.
    We are all individuals and in being different, we learn what we like and what we don’t.

    There is no magic cute to make people like you. Sometimes they just won’t and we need to learn to accept that.

    Own your actions, be proud of who you are and what you do.

    I personally found that the more I stressed over why people didn’t like me and what I did wrong, the more I became a shell of who I am meant to be.

    You are you. Accept it. Revel in it.
    Confidence is beautiful.

    Massive hugs
    Chloe (Scribe)

    • Thanks, Chloe
      I know, I guess I don’t really get too worked up over it generally. But once in a while, usually when I am on social media and realize several participants in a thread or discussion have blocked me, I start to question myself. Especially when some of those are people I thought were my friends at one point.
      Ah well, I suppose I should not waste time worrying over it!
      Will try for more confidence 🙂

      (how are you, by the way? Haven’t seen you around in a while! Glad to see you pop up ❤ )

  2. Amelia,
    You already know that not all people are going to like you. I believe we all know that but yet it is hard to accept rejection, and I see de-friending someone as an art of rejection. However, maybe that rejection is because whoever it is cannot keep up or they feel like they have outgrown a relationship, and that’s okay. So, I’ve learned and I am still learning that only a very few people are called to walk with you on your entire journey. The majority you will know for a while and then they move on.

    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat Garcia

    http://www.patgarciaandeverythingmustchange.com/2016/06/iwsg-june-2016-recovery-is-not-matter.html

    • Pat, yes, that is it exactly. Rejection is hard. Even when that rejection comes from someone who we know is not a good fit for us, it still hurts. I suppose it is made more difficult by social media, where the rejection is plain and clear and often abrupt (versus the more old-fashioned way of just drifting apart slowly and quietly)
      But that is the situation we are all in now! So I guess I will have to get used to it 🙂
      Thanks for your comment and kindness.
      ❤

  3. I wish I could give you advice! I know how you feel. I always worry that I’m annoying, and I’m not sure how to make it stop. I don’t find you annoying, though. In fact, we should talk more! It sucks to have friendships end, and I’m sorry it happened 😦

    As for your dialogue, I certainly don’t find it obnoxious. I don’t know if I’d call your characters dorky, maybe occasionally when they’re being irreverent and playful (like when they celebrated Christmas in More Than Love), but a little dorkiness is a good thing, I think. It makes them endearing.

    If you ever come up with a way to have thicker skin, let me know! I wish I did. I hope this doesn’t get you down too much or too often. 🙂

    • Thanks, Sarah, as usual you are kinder than I deserve.
      I also wish I had the secret to thicker skin. Or at least just the secret of not caring!
      You are definitely not annoying. You are sweet and kind and thoughtful, and a wonderful writer. I miss our talks in “the pocket watch” about writing! I hope you are still working with that group and helping each other write.
      And thanks for reassuring me about my dorky characters! Lol I agree, sometimes dorky is good, it is relatable and endearing.
      ❤

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