iwsg post: insecure resolutions

Hello! I have been such a terribly bad blogger 😦 I’m sorry. Anyway, I’m back just in time for IWSG week! visit the iwsg page to tour the hop!InsecureWritersSupportGroup

Since we collectively decide the first week of January is when we’ll be all motivated and self-reflective, I have some “resolutions” for the new year. Actually, just one major resolution, and it has to do with insecurity and writing and support.

I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few months just listening to (okay reading) and watching (reading without commenting) successful authors online. I feel like I am at a crossroads in my writing career, and it’s time for me to decide if I am going to move forward or just fade away. So I was trying to figure out what these other authors are doing to keep themselves “on top” and how, or if, I can hope to be like them.

First I thought: they are better than me. They write better, their plots are more compelling, their characters more interesting. But I read some bestsellers and…no. Not that they weren’t great! And sure, some are way better than me, but honestly most were just your average story. Many were flawed.

So then I thought: marketing! Of course, they are selling themselves better! They buy tons of ads and post in multiple groups and have huge mailing lists. And yeah, some do. But many are just as clueless as I am about that stuff.

Finally, I decided it must be personality. People are just drawn to certain characters, and maybe these authors have the kinds of personas that make people want to pay attention to them. Maybe…but a few of them are downright annoying, to be honest. At least in my opinion.

Then I figured it out: they all have confidence. They believe in themselves. Maybe not deep inside, maybe deep down they are insecure, too, I don’t know. But publicly, and in all the ways that matter when you are trying to sell yourself and your work, they put themselves out there with an “I’m worth it” attitude.

I realized you HAVE to do that! And (shocker) I haven’t been doing that AT ALL.

So that is my simple resolution. “I’m worth it.” I’m worth your time, your money, your attention. I’m worth my own time, my own support. I’m worth my own effort. Self-deprecation is a bad habit with no up-side. I need to stop putting myself down, and start advocating for myself and my work. Even if I don’t feel it inside, and even when I don’t have a book release and it’s going to be months until the next one and I could just save up all my faux-confidence for then when I’ll really need it. Even still, I’m going to resist the urge to downplay my accomplishments. Instead, I’ll be my own fangirl.

In the immortal words of Bob Bitchin: “The difference between an ordeal and an adventure is attitude.”

The last thing I need is another ordeal! I’m going on an adventure. 🙂

15 thoughts on “iwsg post: insecure resolutions

  1. Wow, you just hit so many of my own ponderings on the head. And you found my answer. That’s what it is – being more confident. I struggle with that and I think on some level it’s because of humility. I was always taught to be humble no matter your success or talents. So how does one balance being confident, presenting oneself as confident, yet not coming off as a fathead? I think I need to understand that deep inside before I can present myself confidently. (Guess I found a great goal to work on this year.)

    • Exactly! “Be humble, don’t brag, nobody likes a show-off” are all deeply embedded in my mind. Which does make it difficult to do the work of self-promotion. Especially on projects without a traditional publisher. At least, if a publishing house is backing a project I can do that promoting for them, not only for me.
      But what I now understand is: if I don’t have my own back, no one else will. So I am going to try to get better at it.
      That Bob Bitchin quote was what inspired all this, and I was going to expand on it in the post but I like to keep the IWSG postings short. Anyway, my thoughts when I read that were about self-promotion. I really always consider it an “ordeal.” something I have to “get through.” And when I read that quote it kind of all clicked for me. I’m doing promotion as if it is this horrible, dirty job. I dread it! I try to act confident, but I have every negative review I’ve ever received running through my head and I feel so phony and conceited. Not exactly the path to success! LOL
      So I’ll be working on that confidence goal right along with you. And hopefully this year will be more productive (or at least more pleasant) ❤

  2. This is awesome.

    And on point.

    You have to believe in yourself because if you don’t, no one will. It’s all about the vibes you put out into the universe.You have to visualize what you want, what you see for yourself and it will manifest. Confidence and belief in yourself is one of the most powerful tools you have.

    P.S. Do you know about TUT.com? I’d check it out. From one writer to another… visualizing the future you want is half the battle.

    Happy new year!

  3. Amelia, I’ve read your unedited stuff, and you have every reason to be confident!! Nobody’s perfect, and while there may be negative reviews, just think of all the people who do enjoy your writing. Most of all, just tell stories that fire your imagination and your passion. I swear it will come out. Don’t worry about silly trolls and haters. 🙂

    • Thanks, JT 🙂
      You are right, of course. I should think of the positive feedback and ignore the negative. How to do that, though??? lol it is a struggle. I will try!
      Thanks for your kind words ❤

  4. There is also that crucial thing called timing: to be there just at the right moment when your work fits what readers and editors are now looking for. And if you fade away, your work will not be there to be struck by lightning. Have a most successful 2016!

    • Great point! Reminds me of another fave quote of mine: “I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often.”

      I hope your 2016 is fantastic! 🙂

  5. Hi and Happy New Year!
    I like your post. To discover that you are worth it is half the way to doing any job or completing any goal successful.
    So, I wish you the very best for 2016. Keep encouraging and inspiring yourself.
    You can do it!

  6. I think it’s timing–they got their ideas to the right place at the right time to get published…and then the stories got in the right hands (assuming it’s someone who had a lot of copies of his/her book sold). Of course, with timing, often that means just trying over and over until finally you hit that right person at the right time, so perseverance is everything.


    • I agree! I think most successful people owe at least part of their accomplishments to luck.
      Look at the famous JK Rowling story – how Harry Potter wound up in just the right 8 year old girl’s hands – then it got the attention it deserved and took off. Imagine if it hadn’t been read by that little girl!
      Smaller “luck” stories happen all the time: the right book blogger, a prominent review, being chosen as a book club selection, etc. All that definitely matters, and can’t be planned for. So yes, perseverance is everything! 🙂

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