This isn’t really an insecurity, well, maybe it is… I feel lately that I am so scatterbrained! Is it because I am writing, or because I am getting old? I don’t know.
I’d like to blame the writing. That would be easier. And sometimes it IS the writing. Sometimes my head is so full of dialogue and scenes and plot problems that I can’t really focus on anything else. I snap at my kids, I let housework pile up, I forget appointments.
But other times, it’s not the writing. It might be the social media, or the workshops, or just my family life. I feel so often like I am being pulled in multiple directions, and all I want is a little peace and quiet. Which makes me feel guilty. Is it bad to dream about running away? How about if you’re 41 years old? Seriously, I have fantasies about hiking the Appalachian trail by myself. Or booking a Caribbean vacation for one. Not very nice fantasies for a wife and mother to have!
But I need more than ten minute blocks of time. I need more quiet, less phone calls/text alerts/deadlines. I need to focus, but I find it more and more difficult to do so. And then I worry that this trouble focusing means there is something wrong with me. Will I have my grandmother’s dementia? My mother’s brain cancer? Am I slipping???
I don’t know. All I can do is try to keep going. I’ve recently begun using my iPhone for more than just scrolling tumblr. I’m using the reminders and calendar and notes to keep myself on task and it is helping a little. How about you? Do you ever suffer from a lack of focus? What do you do about it? Any tricks for a frazzled writer?