my biggest insecurity

I had a whiny post all ready for IWSG. typed and linked and scheduled, all about how depressed I’ve been, and how nobody likes me, blah blah blah. But screw that. This is supposed to be the insecure writer’s support group. I’m going to talk about my actual writing insecurities this time. Honestly.

InsecureWritersSupportGroup

Right now my biggest insecurity is that I am not skilled enough to be the kind of writer I want to be.

I know I am a decent writer of fluffy sappy romance, as long as I keep the sex frequent and the plot light. But I have been trying so hard to write something more. And I am failing!

I am failing on a lot of fronts, currently. Failing to effectively market and promote my latest release. Failing to finish even one of my three works-in-progress. Failing to keep up with the damn laundry.

So my insecurity is that I won’t make it past this. That I won’t be able to keep going through the negative feedback and low sales, that I will never learn to write an entertaining story, and that I cannot improve as a writer.

I have heard that the difference between successful writers and failed ones is simply that the successful people never gave up. So I am trying really hard to not give up, despite these insecurities.

20 thoughts on “my biggest insecurity

  1. Why don’t you enter a contest or two? Take a break from the stories you do write now and write something totally different. If you need ideas, post them to the group or if you’d like I’ll be happy to kick around some ideas with you. As writers we lead a solitary life, it’s all up to us and ‘our’ story but we get no input from people until it’s finished or they read drafts which are never perfect so we’re always on the verge of negative bombardments. Relax and look around you and allow your mind to freely think of something so new and so different you get that passion back about writing. Damn the sex for now, just find something fun or lovely to write about. I’m always around to talk to you about any ideas you might want to explore. (Saturn Celeste) 😉

  2. You know, I spend a lot of time beating myself up about what I’m failing to do, but why? Instead, think about what you ARE doing. You’re accomplishing something. What is it? Be proud of what you do accomplish, and you might just fail at less, especially as that failure is really about self-doubt. Easy for me to say, I know.

    • Ah, you are right.
      Good advice, even if it is easier said than done 🙂
      Reminds me of the quote “doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will”
      Thanks for the reminder, and for visiting!

  3. Well, I love your fluffy love stories! I read Love You Forever in a day. So there’s that. I certainly wouldn’t complain if you keep writing those, they’re definitely entertaining and fun. But I am curious, what other kinds of things would you be interested in writing?

    • Well, I started writing “trust me” in an attempt to be more mainstream. It was supposed to be a cop story, almost a mystery-romance. It turned into a frotting sex-fest, and I am stuck on the plot.
      I guess I am always going to be interested in writing Romance, I have tried to do non-romance (and will continue to try) but it never works out for me.
      I just wanted to write something that would be a good story even without the romance, and I don’t think I can do that, and that is frustrating.
      But thanks for the nice words about Love You Forever! That was one of my favorite things ever to write ❤

    • I have heard the part that was linked on the main page, but not the other parts. I am listening to them now – cool! Thanks for pointing me to them.
      And thanks for the encouragement 🙂 I will keep fighting!

  4. We all have our strengths and weaknesses when it comes to writing certain kinds of stories, and that’s nothing to be ashamed about. I wish I could write fluffy romances, but I’m better at thrillers with romance.

    We all also feel like we’re failing at marketing, but as long as we’re doing everything we can then we aren’t failing.

    Don’t give up!

    • Thanks ❤ There is a lot of value to the kind of stories I write, I should probably remember that more often!

      Marketing, now that's something I'll probably never feel good about. But I doubt many of us do 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

  5. Gina took the Ira Glass talks right outta my mouth!

    I’m not sure insecurity ever goes away for any artist, even ones granted a MacArthur Genius Grant! BUT, if the answer to the question “If you could be anything, what would be?” is “writer” then you’re on the right path…just make sure to wear the right shoes coz it DOES get rough. 🙂 I just started on this road myself, so I know about the tiny little rocks of doubt that sneak in and just. will. not. be. shaken. out.

    We’ll make it! Otherwise I’ll see you behind the check-out counter at Starbucks (which kinda doesn’t sound like a bad idea!). 😀

    • “If you could be anything, what would be?”
      Writer, I guess… if independently wealthy chocolate taste-tester is not an option 🙂
      And yeah, Starbucks barista sounds like a much more lucrative, and less frustrating, career path to me at this point!
      For now I will soldier on, and try to ignore those little doubts (and the big doubts, too) 🙂

  6. Don’t ever think you’re not good enough. NEVER give into your fears. It does absolutely nothing to enrich your soul. And remember, only you have control over this. If you stop, then everything stops. Every hurdle is an opportunity to jump higher.

    • “only you have control over this”
      Great point! Sounds like something my mother would have said 🙂 and very true, too. Thanks for the encouragement and inspiration!

  7. 1) I totally support the comment to remember all that you HAVE done. Be kind to yourself and appreciate your victories 🙂

    2) While I am admittedly not the best at this, it may be a good time to reassess your goals for your writing. Your goals might be different now than they once were. Figure out what you want that’s tangible and something you can control, and a timeframe. As much as we all want to make the NYT list that is out of your control. In control, what projects you work on, how many, and what you plan to do with them.

    3) I find inspiration reading outside of my genre. Or think about what you would most like to write about but are afraid to. Then write it anyway, just for yourself, even if no one will ever see it.

    4) I have no idea why I numbered these.

    • LOL
      Well, numbering adds a lot of authority to a list, you did the right thing 🙂
      I think you are correct about the goals. I do need to focus on that, and decide why I am doing this, and what I hope to accomplish.
      Good points, all of your numbers. Thank you ❤

  8. Every word you write is progress, and I’m in awe of the amount of books you’ve already released! There’s nothing wrong with staying in one genre – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it – but you just might surprise yourself if you try something new. And all first drafts suck, whatever the genre!

    • Thanks 🙂
      It seems lately that I cannot even do well in my own genre!
      But I do enjoy writing, so maybe I need to forget about being an “author” and just be a “writer”? Focus on the story, and forget about selling it. That might work…
      Thanks for stopping by, and for the positive thoughts ❤

  9. I used to write romance and I have to say it was never easy! I’ve written both dark fiction and light fiction–I wouldn’t say light fiction is easier than dark…just a different kind of writing. However, if you want to get more intense and deep, I think it’s about taking risks–pushing yourself. Your writing can only get stronger from making that leap, even if you choose to go back to romance. I love your covers, by the way. They look like fun reads to me!

    • Thanks!
      I definitely need to get better about pushing myself, and taking risks. I think for me the issue is I have been writing what I like, and that does not always line up with what is lucrative or popular. So I need to decide if I want to keep writing for myself, or if I want to be a more successful author.
      *sigh* life is tough.
      Thanks so much for stopping by and for the good advice 🙂

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