Time for another Insecure Writer’s Support Group Post!
My insecurity this week (actually this month) has been at an all time high. I considered giving up writing. I don’t want to stop writing, though. I love writing. I thought maybe I could still write, just not publish. That could work! The “stubborn bitch” part of me realized I shouldn’t let a little low-self-esteem get in my way. And I thought of all the people that would be secretly happy if I quit… Fuck them! I decided what I should do is write, publish – and just not promote or care what happens to my stories as far as sales go. Maybe the promotion is where the problem is, really. But I had so many plans for marketing this next story! I was going to try to do it “right” and see if that made any difference in sales or reader response.
So I’m not giving up (yet.)
Still, this has been a tough time. I’m not even sure why. Nothing happened to make me have these epic levels of doubt and insecurity. I guess it’s just been building up for a while, and there is only so much “smiling over your real feelings” a person can do.
- I need to really work on my writing. I’m just not satisfied with the level I am at right now. Not satisfied at all.
- I’m thinking of slightly adjusting my plot/genre to be more mainstream-popular (still sticking with m/m Romance, but more trope-y) The thought sort of…hurts. But I think it might help with the popularity of my stories.
- Lots of stuff to do, not enough time to do it.
And then I remembered something I saw on facebook:
Maybe I’m in the process of leveling up! If so, it sucks balls. But I’m going to keep trying, and hopefully come out a little stronger. I think by next month’s ISWG post I’ll have myself together.