I’ve thought about joining the Insecure Writer’s Support Group several times over the past year. As you might imagine, my insecurity is what has prevented me from adding my name to the list.
But today, just this very morning, I did something even more terrifying, something I thought I’d never do. Afterwards, in a fit of “what-the-fuck-ever”, I joined the group and am posting my very first Insecure Writers’s Support Group post here and now.
What I did that was so scary was…. I claimed a prompt for the Goodreads m/m Romance group’s “Love’s Landscapes” event.
Ack! What was I thinking?? Actually, I assume most people claim their spots in a similar way. I was scrolling through the prompts, reading them and thinking, “oh, maybe next year I’ll participate in this,” and then I read one that was interesting. Actually, I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the images and words that I thought of when I read it. I clicked away. I read a few more prompts. Then I clicked back. Then I spent like ten minutes zoning out staring at the photo, imagining the character and what he might want, how he might feel, and who could make him whole and happy. Then I signed up for it.
I got a frighteningly fast response, confirming my acceptance of the prompt. And now I am in a slight panic.
I know I can do the writing part. I know I can make up a story (it might be a fucked up story that no one will appreciate, but still) and I know I can make it fit the guidelines. But what I don’t know is how I am going to stack up against the way more qualified and experienced people who are participating in this event. Or how my offering will be received by the readers, who are expecting something awesome. And if I’m honest, Goodreads scares the crap out of me. Just lately, the ‘readers vs. writers’ vibe on there is really intense.
But it is done, and I am thinking already of how I’m going to make this story work. Insecurity level = 100%.