extremely insecure

I’ve thought about joining the Insecure Writer’s Support Group several times over the past year. As you might imagine, my insecurity is what has prevented me from adding my name to the list.

But today, just this very morning, I did something even more terrifying, something I thought I’d never do. Afterwards, in a fit of “what-the-fuck-ever”, I joined the group and am posting my very first Insecure Writers’s Support Group post here and now.

InsecureWritersSupportGroup

What I did that was so scary was…. I claimed a prompt for the Goodreads m/m Romance group’s “Love’s Landscapes” event.

Ack! What was I thinking?? Actually, I assume most people claim their spots in a similar way. I was scrolling through the prompts, reading them and thinking, “oh, maybe next year I’ll participate in this,” and then I read one that was interesting. Actually, I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the images and words that I thought of when I read it. I clicked away. I read a few more prompts. Then I clicked back. Then I spent like ten minutes zoning out staring at the photo, imagining the character and what he might want, how he might feel, and who could make him whole and happy. Then I signed up for it.

I got a frighteningly fast response, confirming my acceptance of the prompt. And now I am in a slight panic.

I know I can do the writing part. I know I can make up a story (it might be a fucked up story that no one will appreciate, but still) and I know I can make it fit the guidelines. But what I don’t know is how I am going to stack up against the way more qualified and experienced people who are participating in this event. Or how my offering will be received by the readers, who are expecting something awesome. And if I’m honest, Goodreads scares the crap out of me. Just lately, the ‘readers vs. writers’ vibe on there is really intense.

But it is done, and I am thinking already of how I’m going to make this story work. Insecurity level = 100%.

16 thoughts on “extremely insecure

  1. Welcome to the IWSG!! Glad you took the plunge, both here and on Goodreads. I think writing is something that only gets better with attempts. Everybody has to start as a newbie. I look back on my first manuscript I ever sent to a publisher (it had sticky notes and staples!), I cringe…but I have learned. And I am still learning. And while we do that, let’s enjoy the journey!! Hugs and best of luck!!!

  2. Goodreads scares me, too. xD
    Best of luck. Sometimes, you just gotta put yourself out there.

    And welcome to the group. 🙂
    IWSG #268 (until Alex culls the list again or I goof and get myself deleted. :P)

  3. I think you’re going to love the IWSG!
    Congrats on taking the first step and signing up for that writing prompt. Sometimes that first leap is the very hardest part, and what comes after is just the process of doing what you love to do. All that other stuff– the other writers, the fickle readers– are just background noise to the song of your muse. 🙂

    • I did love the first day, it was super fun visiting other blogs (though I didn’t get to as many as I’d like) and offering my little encouragements. And also, of course, nice to hear from new friends. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

    • Thanks, EE. And I have been following your blog, and seeing that you, too, are making headway. I actually do the same thing sometimes: editing with pen and paper. I think it helps me think more clearly. I also outline (when I even do that) and plot out characters on paper.
      I hope your story works out. Your attitude is awesome 🙂

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