regrets and resolutions

I know I’m a week late on the resolution post. But really, that’s not what this is. I don’t make resolutions. (I don’t need another thing to fail at.) I often make vague plans, in a weak ‘maybe I’ll try to…’ kind of way. But not ‘resolutions’ per se.

So I was thinking about the year ahead, and my goals, and I thought that really what all these ‘resolutions’ are, are just regrets turned around. Things you really wish you’d already done, but didn’t. Maybe next year. Well, in that vein, I have a few.

Writing. Okay, biggest regret: rushing. I feel like if I had polished up my earlier stories they’d have been so much better, but I was just not about that at the time. I had them beta’d and proofed, of course, but not really edited for flow or content, and so they are like the bones of stories. Good, entertaining, but not as meaty as they might have been. No use feeling too bad about it now, done is done, but I suppose that makes a good resolution: stop rushing.

Life. Another regret: wasting timeI started out the year really well. I was exercising and working on my writing and keeping my shit together. But as the year progressed it went downhill fast. In the swing of writing a story, I spent days sitting at my computer, immobile. I never did my fall yard clean up, and I routinely let my bathrooms get frat-house-gross before I cleaned them. This is ridiculous. If I was actually writing that whole time, I’d have an epic story on my hands. Instead it was like 30% writing, 70% facebook/tumblr/scrib. That is pretty sad. So anti-regret resolution #2: stop wasting time.

Kids. Mommy-guilt regret: I’m kind of a bitch to my kids. I mean they sometimes deserve it, but not always. I’m often preoccupied and I snap at them and it’s terrible, I shouldn’t do that. They are kind of little pains in the ass but they’re also sweet and funny and mine and I need to be better at what is really my most important job: ‘mom’. So my last resolution: stop being a bitch for no reason.

Well, as usual I can only really commit to a few things at once, so I guess that’s all I have for resolutions (weak, I know). I hope everyone’s year is starting out great 🙂

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