This was supposed to be a fun post, but Sunday was a mixed bag of happy & sad, and the sad was really sad, so I’m posting about it, too.
First (happy part) I did The Color Run. Well, I mostly walked it. Being a “couch to 5k” program failure, I could not run the whole 3 miles. But I jogged part of it, and ran through all the colors, and ran for the finish line. So I’m kind of proud of myself anyway.
It was a fun time, lots of smiling people, dressed wildly, laughing and getting messy together. Nice.
Then I came home and had several frantic phone messages to return (although it’s 2013, my cell phone situation is still so 2003). Turns out, there was a death in my family. So sad and totally unexpected. My younger cousin died, leaving a wife and twin boys (who will turn one just a few days after their father is buried). I am still kind of in shock, I guess. My childhood friend, the kid I laughed with, teased relentlessly, and loved my whole life is gone.
I just feel horrible. And I keep thinking, between moments of guilt (why didn’t I sit down and chat with him last weekend at our cousin’s wedding? why didn’t I call him more often?) and sympathy (how sad his wife must be. and his poor sister! how would I feel if it was my husband, or my brother? so awful.) I think about how fragile life is, how everything can just change in an instant, without reason.
At this point in my life, I’ve lost my share of family and friends. But every loss is difficult. It never gets easier.
Still, life is beautiful. The day was gorgeous, crisp and clear with a vivid blue sky that makes the yellow and orange autumn leaves pop out like an oil painting come to life. And the moon tonight was big and golden, turning the whole bay shimmering silver.
La vita è bella. Enjoy it, and the people around you, while you can.